


Sort of Attached

by Ellie5192



Series: Two Birds [8]
Category: E/R (1984)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-05-01
Updated: 2013-05-01
Packaged: 2017-12-10 02:14:22
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,522
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/780597
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ellie5192/pseuds/Ellie5192
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“It's not much of a tail, but I'm sort of attached to it.” ― A.A. Milne, Winnie-the-Pooh</p><p>... But then, they are having a baby together. In light of that, domesticity doesn't seem so outrageous.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Sort of Attached

**_Sort of Attached_ **

 

“Eve, I was wondering something”

“What is it?”

They’re both sitting at the break room table, Howard twirling an unlit cigar and Eve nursing a cup of water. Not being able to have her coffee has been killing her, just as not smoking around her has been killing him, but they’re both managing as best they can, and the results will be worth it.

She’s rubbing at her hip, nearing the end of a very long and stressful shift. They lost one patient to head trauma, and had to monitor another for internal bleeding, and their only reprieve had been a girl with too much alcohol in her system and a bad attitude.

Eve is barely showing her pregnancy, being so slight of frame in the first place, but she’s starting to feel the difference, and she doesn’t want to consider how much harder it’s going to be in a couple of months. The weight and change of her slowly expanding belly is making her move in different ways, and after being on her feet so long, she just wants to sit and relax for five minutes.

Howard, however, looks nervous. He’s tired too, she can see, but he’s preoccupied by something, and she should be more alert to it, but she just doesn’t have it in her.

“What’s up, Howard, what’s bothering you?”

“Eve, I wonder if… that is to say… you see I think-“

“Spit it out or I’ll Heimlich you” she deadpans.

“You wouldn’t”

“Try me”

“Fine” He gives her a look. “Eve, I want you to move in with me”

Immediately her eyes focus, and her head perks up, and her back straightens as she stops slouching in her chair and sits up.

“What?” she drawls, almost sing-song, blinking a couple of times as her brain catches up to the question.

“I was wondering if you’d move in with me”

“Howard… I…”

“I know it’s forward, and I know you like your place”

“I love my place- it’s a great little apartment” she agrees in a daze, not at all ready to talk so seriously, her mind whirling despite her fatigue, or perhaps because of it.

“Just hear me out”

“Howard, I can’t believe you’re bringing this up now…”

“It’s not the first time it’s occurred to me”

She squares a thoughtful all-knowing look at him, sobering and softening, and he feels a bit like an open book, but then she’s always had that ability.

“And just how long have you been thinking about this?” she asks softly but seriously. Her hand moves subconsciously to rub at the crick in her hip again.

“Since we found out about Peanut”

She huffs out a laugh and shakes her head. That was almost two months ago.

“And you’re only bringing it up now?”

“What can I say? I’m a wuss”

She chuckles at him. She has been getting snappy, especially after a shift such as the one they’re on. She can recognise her own attitude, and is glad he’s been considerate of her space and feelings. Howard has done his best to be supportive, but she’s a stubborn, independent woman, and she knows she’s being obstinate, but she refuses to let this pregnancy slow her down. That he’s bringing it up now must mean he’s starting to worry about her, and she finds the gesture sweet, if a little overbearing.

“Do you want me to move _in_ in?” she asks gently, not looking at him; not ready to.

“Yeah”

She looks at him then. His tone is whisper-quiet, and very sincere. He’s looking at her with wide, expressive eyes, an almost pleading look on his face, and she knows that he’s now at the point where he’ll fight her on this. They’ve been spending almost every night at his place. Half of her clothes are already there, and she has her own toothbrush, and she considers that it does make more sense for her to move in and get settled well before the baby comes.

Even so, she’s been independent for so long, the thought of giving up her own apartment is daunting. It’s not that she’s particularly attached to the building or the room, but it feels like a very tangible gesture. It’s been a long time since she’s shared her space- since she was a college student scraping by with house-shares and roommates- and although they are still financially independent and there have been no promises, moving in with Howard feels like a very big, very deliberate step.

They’ll be a family. A real one. She won’t just be pregnant to her boyfriend, she’ll be domestic with her partner. She’ll be a permanent, daily presence for Jenny. She’ll be making meals and doing her washing, and buying the big bottle of her shampoo to leave in the shower.

But then, they are having a baby together.

In light of that, domesticity doesn’t seem so outrageous.

“I’ll need some time to think about this” she says softly, but not dismissively. He notices the difference, as he usually does, and that’s a great comfort.

“Take your time” he replies.

“Howard, is your place even big enough for all of us?”

“Sure it is. It’s got three bedrooms, and Peanut won’t be in their own for a few months”

“Okay. I’ll think about it”

“Please do”

They nod at each other, and she rubs again at her hip. Finishing their drinks, she smiles at him over the table, and he returns it. She’s so very in love with him. He knows he must look ridiculous, but he’s found that when it comes to her, he cares less than he normally does, which isn’t much to begin with.  

It’s later that night when she gives him her answer. They’re sitting on his couch, and she’s been crying. A baby, no more than a month old, had come into the ER near the end of their shift, and was lost because his own mother was addicted to drugs. They’d fought all night long for the boy, but they couldn’t save him, and his heart had given in, and now they are huddled on his couch while he slowly rocks her. Howard holds his tears back for Eve’s sake, content to hold her as she weeps for the baby, and clutches at the tiny bump of her stomach, subconsciously associating her grief with her own child. Between her sobs she tells him she’s here to stay, and the feeling of relief that courses through him is so profound he sags back into the cushions, running his hands down her back. He’s not a possessive man, but knowing the people he loves are close by is an overwhelming comfort after the night he’s had.

When Jenny walks in to the living room, bleary eyed and confused, Howard ushers her over to the couch and holds her tight to his side, planting a kiss in her hair. She doesn’t understand what happened, but she recognises her father’s need to have her close, and she says nothing, tired as she is.

The next morning they’re out to breakfast together, sitting at a small diner side by side after dropping Jenny at school.

“Howard, I meant what I said last night. I want to move in with you. I want to be a family with you”

“I’m glad. After yesterday… I can’t imagine not being with you every day- not being with Peanut every day”

“I know. Me too”

“I love you, Eve. It’s crazy, and it’s wonderful, and it’s terrifying, but I’m utterly in love with you”

She grins and ducks her head, nodding into the table somewhat demurely.

“I know what you mean, Howard, I know what you mean”

“And you don’t mind giving up your place?”

“I got a better offer” she replies with a soft smile, taking his hand where it rests on the table-top.

He kisses her knuckles and then stands, gesturing to the counter where he’ll pay the bill. He goes to step by her chair, but she stops him with a light hand on his arm, and before he can question her, she’s tugging him down into a quick kiss.

“Good to know you’re a sap too” he says with a grin, trotting off before she can reply.

She gathers her things and pulls on her jacket, meeting up with him at the door. They walk out together, and she slides her hand into the crook of his elbow, huddling close. She’s never been particularly public with her shows of affection, but she had promised herself that this relationship would consist of saying ‘yes’, and has found a certain comfort in letting Howard take care of her once in a while. He respects her independence of character enough to see it for what it is; affirmation, rather than acquiescence, and she knows that she can trust him with that. After all, she already trusts him with her heart, and with her future, and with their child.

She likes her independence, sure. But she likes this just fine too.

She smiles to herself, and figures, why not have both.  


End file.
